When I was seven, my dad died suddenly. My brothers were five, six, and thirteen. In that moment, life as we knew it cracked open. Not only did we lose him, but soon after we left our home in Germany, our grandparents, our friends, our routines—everything that was familiar.
Looking back, it was far too much for children to carry. Yet it also brought us close as siblings, bound together in ways only loss can create.
That was the first of many losses. Since then, I’ve said goodbye to both of my parents and two of my brothers. Grief has shaped the whole arc of my life. But it has also become the soil where growth, awareness, and resilience took root.
Here are some of the lessons I’ve carried with me.
Stories Heal
As a child, I found solace in books. Reading showed me that pain is universal, that others had walked through heartbreak and survived. Books didn’t take grief away, but they reminded me I wasn’t the only one navigating loss. That connection, however distant, was healing.
The Body Holds What the Heart Can’t
Later, I discovered movement as a way through grief. Running, lifting, sweating, it gave me a way to process intensity without words. Movement allowed my body to carry what my heart couldn’t. To this day, it’s how I make space for emotions too big to contain.
Science Can Be a Compass
As an adult, mindfulness and neuroscience became anchors. Meditation taught me to stop running from grief and to sit with it. Neuroscience gave me a framework to understand what was happening inside my brain and body. Together, they gave me both compassion and clarity: emotions move through us when we give them space.
Love Without Clinging
Losing so much so young made me aware of life’s fragility. Instead of fear of losing, it gave me appreciation of presence. I try to love people as they are, while they are here, without expecting them to complete me. There’s a lightness and freedom in that kind of love.
The Bond Continues
One of the most surprising truths I’ve discovered is that our connection with those we’ve lost doesn’t disappear. It changes. I still speak to my dad, my mum, my brothers. I still learn from them. As I grow, the way I see them evolves too. Love doesn’t die, it transforms.
Grief has been my lifelong teacher. It hasn’t made me stronger in the cliché sense, but it has made me softer, more present, and more human. If you’re grieving right now, know this: the pain may not vanish, but it can become a part of your story in ways that hold both ache and beauty.
✨ If you’d like more reflections and practical tools on living with loss, you can explore my guided meditations and stories for children
and grief resources :